Sunset, Day 320

When I review the images I always see them in reverse order, moving back in time. I love to see the unintentional connections like pieces fitting together in a big puzzle. Today I felt an excitement about my image because it fit so easily. I love it when that happens. When life is easy and the pieces fit, that is magic.

A letter to myself, Day 126

Dear Mia,

It has been a long time since our last correspondence. Life has been busy, it usually is, but for some reason I always think it is going to be different. So here I am finally sitting down to write you an actual letter. I am excited to catch up and tell you what I have been doing with myself. There are many projects in the works, most of them are still in my head, but one in particular that I wish to share with you is materializing day-by-day.

Before I tell you about my project I want to get you up to speed. I turned 39 in May! I keep wondering where all that time went? Before the age change actually occurred I had the feeling that I was being forced onto the edge of a really big cliff and I was hoping that I could keep my balance, which I did- I am still here! Before my birthday I often had the thought that I was never really living in the present moment, always looking to the past and the future in my head as the moments ticked by. I decided to try and change my thought process, to slow down time and focus on the present. This intentional act has led me to a yearlong image-a-day photo project currently under the working title of 39+, which I began on my birthday this year.

So I know what you are thinking…many photographers have already done yearlong photo projects; it’s not a new idea. I guess my response is- I have never photographed something everyday, so it is new to me and that is what is most important. Since my artwork tends to be the last thing accomplished on the agenda, I wanted something that I could work on a little bit everyday. My project goes beyond capturing just one image a day. I decide to make it more challenging for myself by having to visually or conceptually link the image to the previous day’s image. I see this visual connection as a metaphor for life itself- a build up of experiences shaping who I am. At first I thought the project would be about approaching the age of 40, which thankfully has become somewhat irrelevant. For me it is about being conscious and seeing, literally seeing, the present moment and bearing witness to it in the form of a potential photograph. Sometimes I am able to document this with my camera and sometimes I am not. However, it doesn’t matter either way. The photograph pays tribute to some moments, but then I am on to the next. One of my students recently asked me if I ever plan ahead. But when I am truly living in the moment the future is like background noise. I know it is approaching, but I won’t know it until I experience it for what IT is. So my answer was NO, I cannot and do not plan.

What I am learning about photography is exciting to me. My perfectionist self is letting go of the idea that not all images need to be great works of art, be thought provoking, or even that interesting to anyone but myself. I consider the images I capture on a daily basis as my snapshots- haphazard, awkward, yet beautiful at the same time. I take many terrible photographs, but the ones I do find successful would never have happened if I weren’t working everyday. The image I choose for “the day” has to have some kind of connection and I think that is what I really want out of life, and this is perhaps what most people are searching for as well. This project has slowed me down and I am seeing beauty in things I would never have stopped to look at before.

Although the future is uncertain, I am excited where the project is leading me, whom I am communicating with, and how it has changed my art making practice. Once again it is a wonderful reminder that the journey is truly the destination.

With loving kindness,

Mia

Miracles happen, Day 62

My two favorite times to photograph are in the early morning and the early evening around magic hour. Unless it is overcast, the light is usually too harsh and contrasty to get a good image. This evening as I was wandering around the yard after dinner in search of heart shaped ANYTHING, I was feeling a little desperate for today's image, I thought to myself, wouldn't it be amazing if there was a heart shaped cloud in the sky at this very moment so that I can photograph it... I nearly peed in my pants over my discovery.

Expectations, Day 29

I lived in Northern California (Humboldt County) for over 6 years and I really didn't think much about sunny days....there weren't many back then. I remember a month of rain when I first moved to Arcata; I got used to it. Not to say that it wasn't ever sunny, it was, I just didn't think about it much. It was like a special treat when they occured. Then I moved to Boulder, Colorado where there is sun over 300 days of the year. I have gotten used to sunny days, so now when I visit Humboldt I wonder how it never bothered me before? It had been over cast here in Colorado for 5 or so days and I was really needing the sunshine today. The cloud cover broke and it was amazingly beautiful. My expectations have changed.

New Perspective, Day 13

I have a love/hate relationship with flying. I HATE turbulence because it reminds me that I am in a machine hovering above the earth which could come crashing down. At the same time I love having a widow seat on the plane so I can see the sky and the earth from a different perspective. My plane flight home was just fine. No delays, a row all to myself, a beautiful view, and of course some turbulence. Overall I had a good flying experience but I was relieved to step off the plane. In a way my flight today was like my visit to LA. It was wonderful to see my family, friends, to be in LA, and to eat good food, but it was definitely emotional and exhausting at times. Having my dad in the hospital reminded me that this life is precious and myself and my loved ones aren't going to be around forever...it was an important reminder. I am extremely thankful that my dad is going home tonight and he will recover. But all of us really need to just sit back, relax and enjoy the view.